It's a party!!!

If you make it up to Cleveland this summer, you absolutely have to check out this new place. All the cool people are there, including celebrities and their hot trainers. It used to be fairly exclusive, but now they are even letting lesser accomplished people in. You've gotta keep it on the down low though, because that's the name..... DL.

When you get there, you'll be greeted at the door by none other than sinker ball specialist himself, Fausto Carmona, who can master the ladies and the midges. Up at the bar, you can share a drink with Jake Westbrook and a shot (of HGH) with Travis Hafner. Don't forget to tip Josh Barfield in the bathroom - and if he can get in, anyone can.

Finally, you'll be able to share a deep conversation with All-Star catcher Victor Martinez, who can tell you how the women dig his sharp accent. Just don't let him pick the music.. because, well, it sucks.

Last month, we even had Joe Borowski, who mercifully left because he could never close the deal with any of our women - even the easiest, drunkest ones available.

Better hurry up and get to the DL now. Next month, we expect C.C. Sabathia. And if he shows up, there just might not be any room for anyone else.